Friendship

​Someone once told me “If you think you have a lot of friends wait until your world comes crashing down. When the dust settles see who is still standing behind you.” That statement is very true and I have come to know that I am very fortunate when it comes to friendships. Some friendships come and go. Sometimes they don’t last because you never had that deep connection. Sometimes the relationship did not have sufficient time to grow. We tend to get busy living life and gravitating towards our established friends and new friendship aren’t given ample time to develop. Other friendships are meant to last a life time. I feel very blessed to have the amount and caliber of friends that I have. I remember when I was fresh out of high school and my parents separated, they decided to sell our house. My friends showed up every evening for a week with pizza, boxes and packing tape. They helped me and my mom pack up everything we had ever know. They laughed with us and cried with us. They helped us get ready for a garage sale. When it was all over my mom made the decision to move to Arizona with her sister to get a fresh start. My friends were right there with to say goodbye. Along with some family members that I always considered friends, my friends opened up there homes to me until I was able to get a plan together and get my life in order. Fast forward a few years and I found myself in my grandmother’s hospital room holding her hand as she left this world behind for a better one. To no one’s surprise my friends were in the waiting room ready to comfort me. They were there again when my Dad left this world, then my aunt, then my grandfather and then my mom. I have realized that when my world comes crashing down and the dust settles I don’t have to turn around to see who is standing behind me, because they are all standing beside me. It’s not just the sad times that we share but the good times as well. We have stood beside one another on our wedding days. We have rushed to the hospital to welcome each other’s children into the world. We have celebrated each others victories and triumphs. I am often asked how I found friends like that and the answer is simple. You have to be a friend like that. It’s not as easy as some people think. Today, most friendships seem to last longer than most marriages. Friendship is a commitment. It takes patience, understanding and love. It also takes a spouse that understands that if anything ever happens to them, your friends will be the ones that pick you back up. So your spouse must help you foster and maintain these friendships and you must do the same in return.  Just like a marriage you will get tired of each other. You will get under each other’s skin and want to physically attack each other. Your friends will annoy you and push your buttons and piss you off. You have to understand that sometimes you are also an irritating, annoying, needy and frustrating human being yourself. You have to be patient with each other and learn to forgive each other and look past your faults. I feel bad for anyone that doesn’t have the type of friends that I have. Learn to be a great friend, learn to maintain great friendships because if your world ever comes crashing down you don’t want to look up and see no one there to pull you back up.