I have been asked many times how I knew that my wife was the one and how we seem to be such a good match. I always give close to the same answer and that is this; When we were getting a little closer and a little more serious in our relationship we sat down one day, and almost completely by accident, had some pretty serious conversation about beliefs, ideas and goals. We got very in-depth and detailed with some of it and with some a little more broad and vague. We also talked about life in general, personal experiences, funny stories and things of that nature. By the end of that conversation, which was several hours long, I was sure of two things: one, I was in love and two, we would work as a couple. That was the basic answer I would give people when they would asked me that question. I would always throw in that I hated the fact it sounded so much like a job interview. As I’ve gotten older and we have started a family I have realized that in spite of being madly in love and working together as a team, we were absolutely interviewing one another. She is mother of my children and their caretaker, she is the manager of our household and the person who helps me make important decisions. Likewise, I am the father of her children and share in her caretaking responsibilities. I am the provider for our household. I’m the security guard and the handyman. Once I actually backed up and look at the bigger picture it dawned on me; Why on Earth would you not interview someone for those positions? We have to trust each other with our finances, safety, security and most importantly our children. I cannot think of another “job” on the planet that we should be more critical of. I no longer hesitate to say that we interviewed each other on that day because we both know that we don’t view one another as an employee or even as a co-worker. We know that we are each just one piece of a family unit. We understand now, just as we did then, that being that piece of the puzzle comes with great responsibility. The type of responsibility that shouldn’t be trusted with just anyone. Don’t get me wrong our marriage is not perfect but I believe no marriage is. We are all imperfect people. We have our share of disagreements but I believe that first long conversation and some conversations that followed, has helped us avoid many post-marriage arguments. I hear often from family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances that they and their spouse can’t agree on politics, religion where they want to live, how many children they want if any, overall goals …the list goes on. I hear these things and think to myself “how is that conversation just now coming up?” I’m not one to tell other people that they are doing it wrong or that people should do it my way. Coming to an agreement or a compromise is an excellent exercise in any relationship but trust me when I tell you there will be plenty of opportunity for that. Different individuals have different wants, needs and goals and all those play out differently in a relationship. I guess what I’m trying to say it is that I don’t think enough people know what to expect out of their spouse or what is expected out of them until it is much too late. I have also heard the excuse that you can’t help who you fall in love with and once you’re in love you just have to work out the details. It’s hard to argue with that but the way I see it, if you don’t know some of these things about a person, basic things like goals, religion or political views why would you put yourself in a position to fall in love with them. Moreover, how do you even know them well enough to be in love with them. Be careful who you give your heart to. Don’t take it lightly. Don’t make marriage harder than it already is by trying to mix oil and water. I believe there is some one out there for each of us. Get out there and find that person and love like there is no tomorrow.