I was asked one time if I could talk to 18 year old me, knowing everything I know today, what would I tell me. That is something I have thought a lot about. The implications are huge and if by some miracle of modern science, that technology became available, it’s a question that I wouldn’t take lightly. So what would I say?
Would I tell me that shortly after graduation I would have my heart broken for the first time? That my dad would walk out and unfortunately would pass away before making peace with his family? Would I tell myself that at age 20 I would be worrying about if I had a place to live and that my job and my dreams of going to college would go down in flames on the same day? I could warn myself that I would be holding my grandmother’s hand when she took her last breath and that I also would have to bury a few really close friends. I would also soon get my heart broken for the second and third time. I could tell me that I would have to say goodbye to my grandfather and my cousin. I could give myself a heads up that when my brother calls me on January 30th 2015 that he has the worst news imaginable and that my mom had passed on suddenly.
Maybe instead I would tell myself that I will have a few meaningful relationships and will learn a lot about myself. I could tell me that Dad was right about so many thing and the lessons he taught me as a kid would continue to guide me. Maybe I would tell me about the cute little house that became my family’s first home and the awesome job I have that has been such a blessing to us. I would talk about all the talks I had with my grandmother and how she finally gave me her chicken and dumplin recipe. I would let me know that most of the gang is still together plus a few new ones and that our friendship is as strong as ever. I also could say that I get to marry the love of my life and that she is even more beautiful than I had hoped. I might show me the picture I have of my grandfather sitting in his chair with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen holding my first born child. I could try to describe the look on my mom’s face both times she got to witness the birth of my children and how proud she was of them.
Which set of stories would I tell 18 year old me? They seem like two completely separate stories. It sounds like two different lives, lived by two different people. One who knows more heartache and loss than anyone should and one who is the luckiest man alive. The truth is those are actually the same life, lived by me. The same life, but two different perspectives. The moral of the story is simple. Your life is going to be a roller coaster. It’s lonesome valleys of sadness followed by soaring peaks of true happiness. You will learn that you can’t overcome and rise above if you haven’t been knocked on your face to start with. It’s simply a matter of what you choose to focus on. Are you going to let life keep you down or are you going learn from every experience and be a better person because of it?
So, if given the chance, what would 33 year old me say to 18 year old me? Honestly, I’d probably just say, “Get ready for the ride, hold on tight, don’t lose your faith, and keep rising. You won’t be disappointed. Maybe get in the habit of doing crunches now or the only six pack you’ll have in your 20s is the kind you don’t have now”.