I’ve written before about friends and friendships and how important it is to maintain those relationships. Our friends are a huge focal point of our life. My wife and I speak to our friends daily. Even if it’s not face to face we still make the take the time to text, snap our message our friends nearly every day. They are all great people and our lives are fuller and richer because they are in it.
One dynamic of friendships that I’ve never really touched on is kind of a bit dark. I’m not usually a downer and I’m certainly not trying to be now but it’s something to be considered. Let me explain where I’m coming from. I’ve had plenty of people point out to me that I get “stuck on dad duty” or have to “babysit” my kids a lot (that one is the worst. You don’t babysit your own kids!) so that my wife can have a quick girls dinner or maybe a little overnight shopping or concert trip.
Some people ask if it’s necessary or if her and I ever actually spend time together. My answer is this; my wife and I have, what I believe is, the best relationship. We laugh together all the time. We have inside jokes, we make fun of each other and ourselves. We trust each other and we love each other unconditionally. We are friends, teammates and partners so don’t worry about if we spend enough time together or do enough things together. We are good. Secondly, is it absolutely necessary for her to take these trips and have these dinners? Is it necessary for me to do the same?
So here is the dark part. Those close bestfriend are the ones that we would lean on when things get bad. What happens when leaning on your spouse is not an option? What would happend if one of you were to get sick? What would happen if one of you passed unexpectedly? It’s hard to think about but it’s a possible reality. What I do for a living is fairly dangerous. Just driving to and from work is one of the most dangerous things a person can do. So if my wife woke up tomorrow and I wasn’t here who would help hold her and our household together? Who is going to get her out of bed and make her get dressed? Who is going to help get my kids up and make sure they are fed? Who do you think is going to help her in the days, week, and years following such a tragedy? Who will force her to want to live and enjoy life again? All those crazy girls from margarita night, that’s who. And I love them and appreciate them for that. I hope that we get the opportunity to grow old together and that she lives 1 second longer than I do so that I don’t have to watch her go. Should that not be the plan for us I am thankful that she has such an amazing group of girls, which includes her mom and sisters, that would be there for her and my little family if someday I can’t be. So do I think its necessary for my wife to build, maintain and strengthen those relationships? Damn right I do! I will take my daddy time any day so that she can have the opportunity to do that. Fellas, I would encourage you to do the same for your wife and for yourself. We have to be there for each other also and I know for a fact that my guys will be there for me no matter what. Appreciate your spouse and just as important, appreciate their friends and respect their friendships along with your own. May we all never need to appreciate the full value of those relationships.